Her Mom passed away before she was born and so we didn't have Grandma at the holidays. She gets upset when I ask her to come down and tells me to stop guilting her and that she refuses to come for Thanksgiving and when I tell her how tough of a time it is for me and how badly I'm feeling about not being able to have a better Christmas for my kids, she just tells me how rough it was for her when we were kids. I understand that, I do. I appreciate all she did for us, and I know it must have been really tough on her- especially not having her Mom around. I just want her to appreciate THAT fact. How hard it was not having her Mom there on the holidays and how that's all I want- is my mom present on the holidays. Yes, she's still alive, but I miss her presence and I want it here on special days, because it's just not the same without her. So, I asked her, after she told me the things she had to do to make Christmas for us: "And if your Mom had still been alive and able to come and visit you, wouldn't you have wanted her to?" "Of course I would." "Then why is it so difficult to understand that that's all I want?"
I'm just really upset right now.